Sometimes I feel like I know exactly where i'm headed. What I want to do. But as the month's go buy and I watch my daughter get older I start to feel worried. I start to think about when she start's school and paying for her toy's, clothes, school, her activities. I know that I have help and that I am not alone. But I can't help worrying if I am going to be the mother I want to be. I just want to raise my daughter to be loving and caring. Lately she has been acting very spoiled. I try my best not to spoil her with anything. I might be wrong. I think it's just her being a child and not being able to vocalize what she wants. It's funny because growing up my parent's didn't spoil us, unless we deserved it (birthday's, graduation etc...). My father used to always say "when you grow up don't spoil your kid's...because we didn't do that with you." Now that I have a child my father is so in love with her. When he goes out with my mom and if by chance they go shopping he picks out some clothes for her just like my mom does. I've never seen this side of my father and i'm really happy that my daughter is able to have two very loving grandparent's. I know that they will be stern when it is appropriate and easy-going when necessary.

She just keeps getting bigger and bigger ;]

So today I decided to try and clean up the mess we call a apartment. I still can not believe how messy our house get's. Every time it get's cleaned it end's up messy all over again. We have two bedroom's but with so much stuff it just doesn't help. I'm not complaining about living where I do right now just pointing out that between my husband's stuff and mine...well it's cramped. Fortunately I got to clean our room. It's not perfectly clean but it's as clean as it can be with a baby around the house. I'm just happy to have my room back and not a floor filled with toy's and paper's.

This mess is finally gone....but I have a feeling it will be back :/