The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own
reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the
mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is
enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day.
Never lose a holy curiosity.

-Albert Einstein

Being sick suck's it really, really does. I've been sick before but never the way I was from last thursday till sunday. I alway's counted myself lucky because for the past year and a half I haven't gotten seriously ill. I didn't really count the time's when I had my stomach episodes because it would go away after a couple of hour's. But this time it was different. It started with the usual heartburn with it's burning path from my throat down to my stomach, but after awhile it began to get worse and soon I had pain radiating through my back. My breathing became shallow and I felt as if I was going to pass out. Moving caused even more pain. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat and I couldn't even hold my daughter.



My husband wanted me to go to the hospital right away but I figured I could wait it out like all the other time's. In my mind I felt I could overcome the pain like all the other time's. Since it was thursday my husband had to go to work. He asked me one more time if I wanted to go before he left but again I said no. I figured in time the pain would lessen and having him take off for work would be useless. So he left and I went to taking care of my daughter. At 3pm I fed her and then put her to bed. I went to my usual spot sitting down on the edge of my bed and put the t.v on hoping it would distract me from my pain. An hour later the pain got worse and I went into the fetal position thinking I was gonna die. I knew then that this was not a regular attack. Taking my cell I called my husband and left him a message to take me to the hospital.



Upon reaching the hospital I filled out the usual form's and waited for about an hour. After telling a nurse my symptom's I was brought to the emergency room to wait to be seen. This was my first time actually being in an emergency room and it was definitely nothing like Grey's Anatomy. It's chaos back there. There's bed's filled with sick people everywhere, doctor's and nurses hurrying about checking on patients, machine's in every corner. There really was no room to walk. After waiting on and off and getting my IV set in I was sent to get a sonogram and have my blood tested. At the end of 7hrs in the ER I was told to have Chronic cholecystitis i.e gallbladder disease. It's a condition in which "gallstones are formed when bile contains too much cholesterol. The excess cholesterol forms crystals from which gallstones are made." There is no way to tell when I can have another attack. I was told it can be day's, week's even month's. I have the option of removing my gallbladder though which I intend to do.



The doctor told me they couldn't offer me that option because this was the first time I came to the ER with this problem.....fuck that! This pain has been going on for almost a year it just wasn't this bad until now. I intend to get the surgery and i'm not going to that ER again. I'm not going to wait another 6 to 7hrs just to be told I have the option to remove my gallbladder. So i'm going straight to a doctor's office to check out where I can go to get the surgery. This illness isn't a joke it can cause cancer and being a mother my life is no joke. I have a duty to my child and I intend to stick to that and be alive for a long,long time.



I really have to say that I think god has done this to me for a reason. More of a wake up call because i've been losing faith in alot of area's of my life. I've been let down so much in the past 2 and a half yr's and I really want to believe that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. I prayed to god while I was in pain and I believe he heard me and has given me another chance to right some wrongs in my life. He's also been merciful and took off 8lb's from my body. I've been struggling with my weight since having my daughter and I know now that with prayer I can get through this.



With prayer I can get through anything....